Friday, March 03, 2006

Sick

The flu from hell has been in my house. How much snot can one head contain? It seems to multiply as you blow. Ive managed to work, last week praying for death instead. Yea, I suffered....alot. I start feeling a little better and BAM, exhaustion sets in.

The shittiest part abut this damn crap is the fatigue. I can survive the aches and pains and the box after box of tissue.....but being tired all the time is making me fucking depressed. A vicious circle. Exhausted = depressed. Depressed = exhausted. After awhile its hard to tell which is which. Am I still physically sick or am I just so depressed I cant function anymore!!!

Who can sleep as many hours as I do and still daydream about naps and sleeping all weekend. For shits sake I fell asleep yesterday at the dentist.....without gas!!! Thats right, doc has my mouth numb, yet pried open to the point of pain and instead of my normal feelings of terror .... I fell asleep!!! How can that happen? How do you have drills circling your head, suction equipment picking up your drool and ya just simply doze off as if you are watchin tv!!!

Effexor has been a wonder drug for my mania....but maybe I am cycling again and Im in that lovely depressed state. My brain has taken yet another hiatus and I am worthless at work. Cant even remember phone calls I made yesterday to customers. Cant cook very often because Im so damn fatigued. i can sleep all night and still sleep all day. I cant get rested!!! Lifes not about waiting for your next NAP.....I have things to do!