Bye-Bye Birdie
I have been having mommy-itis. I love my kids and I have two cuddler\snugglers left. The only thing missing is the smell of a baby. I don't want to keep one, I have just been having the urge to coddle one. ALOT
I have been substituting this urge with other creatures. Last week my youngest daughter brought home an injured wild bird. This is the second one this year. The first time it was after a rainstorm that wiped out the mommies nest and left the babies scattered on the ground left for dead. She found the baby, sogging wet and appearing half dead and brought it home. I didnt think it would survive, but after two days of our loving care it flew violently around the living room, wanting to return to the outdoors. We set it free.
This second bird was different. It would show signs of being able to fly, but mostly just crash into a piece of furniture and stumble off. I was convinced that should we set in free it would end up prey to some other animal. For three days I carried it around, fed it, cupped it in my hands as it slept. I became attached. i was amused that I could reach into its cage and grab it, but if anyone else dared to invade his space he would slap the living crap right out of them. (Ever seen a defensive bird slap? Its quite humorous) When Mr Live In came home he was horrified to discover that I was operating a "wild life refuge" as I had also taken in a new hamster. He was convinced the bird would fly home. Since I had not seen this ability (apparently the bird would only fly when I was not looking) I agreed to take it outside to prove to this idiot that we had bonded, loved each other and were now an inspearable team. As I walked around the yard, talking to my new shoulder mate, Mr Live In was pleading with me to put my new friend in the trees. No way, I didnt want the poor thing to think I would abandon him. About ten minutes later I decided I had proven my point and turned to take my new pet into the house. Suddenly, and without warning, he flew from my shoulder onto the neighbors house. I stood in shock and silence for a few moments and hollered to Mr Live In - "Get the ladder!" I wanted him back!! I called to him and he snubbed me, and flew off to his new life. That's the thanks I get....I hope the neighbor dog has him for lunch. (No, not really...... well maybe)
I sulked as I walked back into the house. Mr L-I was in tow, noticing my heartbreak and agitation at his stupid plan. "I will get you a cockatiel for your birthday, ok?"
There is nothing worse than a birthday pet. As a teenager my mother bought me a pomeranian for my birthday. Some present, the damn dog hated me. Bit me whenever I got close to her, sat protectively on my dad's lap and refused to let me anywhere near him. She would hide behind the couch and wait for me to walk by and jump out barking and nipping at my feet. I figured if she already hated me I may as well tease her. So I would make motions with my hands that drew her nuts and she would dance in circles trying to bite me. I could tell she wanted me dead....and I found some odd sick humor in that. Particularly when she got older. We had her teeth cleaned and they ALL fell out. HAHAHA, biting mutt.....go ahead and gum me bitch!
Anyway, I dont want a birthday pet. Im not going to tell you what I DID want, but lets just say an animal that hates my guts isnt it.
I think it was all part of me feeling mommy for my best friend. Not really, but hey, its awfully coincidental that I get mommy urges and she finds out shes pregnant! Not that I want to trade places with her. I would rather be that birdie being chowed down by the neighbor dog than to go through the horrors we call pregnancy again.
Maybe Mr L-I will buy me a farm for my birthday. He has about two weeks to come up with a plan to make this up to me.
I have been substituting this urge with other creatures. Last week my youngest daughter brought home an injured wild bird. This is the second one this year. The first time it was after a rainstorm that wiped out the mommies nest and left the babies scattered on the ground left for dead. She found the baby, sogging wet and appearing half dead and brought it home. I didnt think it would survive, but after two days of our loving care it flew violently around the living room, wanting to return to the outdoors. We set it free.
This second bird was different. It would show signs of being able to fly, but mostly just crash into a piece of furniture and stumble off. I was convinced that should we set in free it would end up prey to some other animal. For three days I carried it around, fed it, cupped it in my hands as it slept. I became attached. i was amused that I could reach into its cage and grab it, but if anyone else dared to invade his space he would slap the living crap right out of them. (Ever seen a defensive bird slap? Its quite humorous) When Mr Live In came home he was horrified to discover that I was operating a "wild life refuge" as I had also taken in a new hamster. He was convinced the bird would fly home. Since I had not seen this ability (apparently the bird would only fly when I was not looking) I agreed to take it outside to prove to this idiot that we had bonded, loved each other and were now an inspearable team. As I walked around the yard, talking to my new shoulder mate, Mr Live In was pleading with me to put my new friend in the trees. No way, I didnt want the poor thing to think I would abandon him. About ten minutes later I decided I had proven my point and turned to take my new pet into the house. Suddenly, and without warning, he flew from my shoulder onto the neighbors house. I stood in shock and silence for a few moments and hollered to Mr Live In - "Get the ladder!" I wanted him back!! I called to him and he snubbed me, and flew off to his new life. That's the thanks I get....I hope the neighbor dog has him for lunch. (No, not really...... well maybe)
I sulked as I walked back into the house. Mr L-I was in tow, noticing my heartbreak and agitation at his stupid plan. "I will get you a cockatiel for your birthday, ok?"
There is nothing worse than a birthday pet. As a teenager my mother bought me a pomeranian for my birthday. Some present, the damn dog hated me. Bit me whenever I got close to her, sat protectively on my dad's lap and refused to let me anywhere near him. She would hide behind the couch and wait for me to walk by and jump out barking and nipping at my feet. I figured if she already hated me I may as well tease her. So I would make motions with my hands that drew her nuts and she would dance in circles trying to bite me. I could tell she wanted me dead....and I found some odd sick humor in that. Particularly when she got older. We had her teeth cleaned and they ALL fell out. HAHAHA, biting mutt.....go ahead and gum me bitch!
Anyway, I dont want a birthday pet. Im not going to tell you what I DID want, but lets just say an animal that hates my guts isnt it.
I think it was all part of me feeling mommy for my best friend. Not really, but hey, its awfully coincidental that I get mommy urges and she finds out shes pregnant! Not that I want to trade places with her. I would rather be that birdie being chowed down by the neighbor dog than to go through the horrors we call pregnancy again.
Maybe Mr L-I will buy me a farm for my birthday. He has about two weeks to come up with a plan to make this up to me.
posted by Gigglezngrinz at 3:32 PM
1 Comments:
When i opened this blog page, the first line that popped up was "I have been having mommy-itis". I scanned the line as the page opened and what I read was "I have big mommy tits." The rest of the post was lost on me as I started thinking, you know why we don't remember anything from the first year of our lives? Because we would think that boobs are MUCH larger than they really are...
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