Smoke, smoke, smoke
Today I have this urge to smoke, smoke and smoke some more. It would somewhat interfere with this job if I hung out outside all day chain smoking, but there are days I dont do much here anyway. I couldnt anyway, sooner or later the chain smoking would lead to beer drinking, which would lead to more likely than not rude behavior towards my collegaues and customers. Nevermind. Damn.
It could be the change in meds. Went to the doctor monday and he wasnt helpful at all. Blood work came back completely normal, there simply is no medical answer for my extreme fatigue lately. I gotta say I was disappointed. I am a firm believer in quick fixes. Lose weight TODAY, feel decent TODAY. Not a patient bone in my body. So when he handed me Effexor I was skeptical at the benefits. Sure it may help with the occasional night sweats that chase my dog out of bed thinking therese a flood coming, and maybe it will help with the hot flashes....the ones that convince me on occasion that I have died, gone to hell, and am just not aware of my situation yet. You've seen the movie. Stupid, but how do we know thats not what happens.
So for now its Paxil and Effexor. Great plan. Give a bi-polar patient not one but TWO anti-depressants. Save me a room in the loonely bin, I will be arriving shortly.
Ok, I am supposed to be weaning off Paxil. That drug is supposedly not addicitive. Please tell my system that because every few days it says "Fuck you, give it to me now." At that point I happily oblige. Gonna be interesting to see how the next few weeks pan out. They say it takes that long to kick in, but I am pretty sure thats a lie. Second time I took it I fell asleep on the school field trip. Ok, just on the bus, but drooling in front of my daughters entire 5th grade class was so not cool of me. I heard her whisper to her friend "If I had know she would sleep, I would have left her home." Ugh, bad, bad, mom award.
I feel bad now. Think I will step outside for a cigarette.
It could be the change in meds. Went to the doctor monday and he wasnt helpful at all. Blood work came back completely normal, there simply is no medical answer for my extreme fatigue lately. I gotta say I was disappointed. I am a firm believer in quick fixes. Lose weight TODAY, feel decent TODAY. Not a patient bone in my body. So when he handed me Effexor I was skeptical at the benefits. Sure it may help with the occasional night sweats that chase my dog out of bed thinking therese a flood coming, and maybe it will help with the hot flashes....the ones that convince me on occasion that I have died, gone to hell, and am just not aware of my situation yet. You've seen the movie. Stupid, but how do we know thats not what happens.
So for now its Paxil and Effexor. Great plan. Give a bi-polar patient not one but TWO anti-depressants. Save me a room in the loonely bin, I will be arriving shortly.
Ok, I am supposed to be weaning off Paxil. That drug is supposedly not addicitive. Please tell my system that because every few days it says "Fuck you, give it to me now." At that point I happily oblige. Gonna be interesting to see how the next few weeks pan out. They say it takes that long to kick in, but I am pretty sure thats a lie. Second time I took it I fell asleep on the school field trip. Ok, just on the bus, but drooling in front of my daughters entire 5th grade class was so not cool of me. I heard her whisper to her friend "If I had know she would sleep, I would have left her home." Ugh, bad, bad, mom award.
I feel bad now. Think I will step outside for a cigarette.
posted by Gigglezngrinz at 2:21 PM
9 Comments:
I had a very hard time weaning from Paxil. It seemed like everything was crooked... I was slantingto the side. And it made me MANIC as all hell. Wellbutrin works well for me, made me lose weight and made me stop smoking.(same med as Zyban) Now if it would just give me a nice backrub and tongue lashing I would say it was the perfect antidepressant.
Good luck with the Paxil DT's I recommend that you may hide somewhere for a couple of days so as to avoid chewing someones ear off or pluckinf thier eye out for looking at you wrong.
(yes it's that bad.)
Hope effexor works for you!
smoke, smoke, smoke...that's all i seem to do a lot of lately too!
i had to laugh when i read Ms P's comment that Wellbutrin helped her stop smoking. i was on Wellbutrin for a while, and sorry to say, IT DID NOT HELP ME QUIT SMOKING- if anything, I SMOKED MORE! plus it gave me awful tremors and i was hallucinating to boot!
now i'm on a "cocktail" that is working fine (except the Sugarquel, errrrr, i mean Seroquel, which gives me a raging sweet tooth).
aw what the hell, girl, go on and smoke you a square, errr, cigarette!
even though they say paxil doesn't make you gain weight, it made me gain weight & did nothing for my depression. i know of 2 others who gained weight on it too.
i'm taking welbutrin & neurontin for my mood stabilizer. i also take nortyptyline, which is an antidepressant, but i take it for my migraines.
i tried effexor & can't remember what it did. i think it just didn't work for me. not bad side effects.
hope it works for you
I had the experience once. My doc cut the stabilizer and gave me anti-depressant that worked for me. Bipolars are each so unique and the doc should deal with each patient separately. They call all of us Bipolar just to categorize. We do have things in common but as far as meds are concerned, it is different for each patient.
Effexor really, really works but will make you tired and maybe give you an occasional headache the first few days. Give it a chance. It is the only thing that works for me except wellbutrim and desipramine. My doc told me that back in the day they would only give it to you in hospital as it is so very strong. All I know is that between it, wellbutrim and lamictal, my brain is working again and I am functional. Yeah!
Lamictal seems to be working well for me with the wellbutrin - a word of caution - if ever you need to take a pain killer with these meds beware of TRAMADOL (Ultram) It makes me MANIC as a Bipolar with mania.. you get the point. lol
(MizE- I still cmoke a square ever now and then but I don't crave them like I used to.)
Again, I hope it all works out well for you!
I feel so left out. I don't have any cool drug stories...Well, not the "my doctor told me to take this" kind anyway. The more I get to reading these blogs, I have to wonder, at what point did you realize that you had a "non-normative psychological disorder"? Is that the politically correct way to put it? I don't wish to trivialize your condition, but I am curious to know how you came about realizing that you were in need of professional help to start with?
WHERE DID YOU GO?????
When I was going through hot flashes, taking Vitamin E helped so much. I was only 32 (went through menopause before my mom) and was going through chemo and surgery for cancer which plunged me into early menopause. Vitamin E eased the flashes and helped me feel normal, especially at night when they hit so hard.
Love your blog. It's honest.
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