Wedding Weekend
My weekend sucked. Four days off and all four sucked. I took Friday off to go to my b\f's brothers wedding and thats where suck started. I dont see taking a vacation day to do something so painful again.
It started Thursday night. B\f kept harassing me to get to bed because if I didnt, it would be hard for me to get up Friday morning. Never mind the fact that I have three kids to kick out the door and they are never late. Apparently when he is around, I lose the ability to manage my time.
Friday morning the kids are off and the next harassment phase begins. Hurry here, hurry there, and Im ok with all of it until our last trip back home to get the luggage. The phone rings and its my brother. The evening before things got ugly between my 17 year old and her b\f and it turned somewhat physical. My family was up in arms, everyone was upset and he was calling me to give his brotherly advice. No time for that, my b\f J was on a kick that we HAD to go NOW. He waits impatiently like a two year old, tapping the foot, following me around. The only thing missing was him throwing himself on the floor and screaming.
We go out to pick up his kids and his ex wife has errands for us to run. Ok they are kid errands, but errands that she is responsible for. So we go to the school, fill out paperwork, get the class assignments.....basically things she could have drug her lazy, always pregnant, stay-at-home ass over to the school to do herself. There is no complaining about running late anymore. Then we take them to lunch....another thing she could have handled. Again no complaints....except from me. The kids are 12, 10 and 8 and have no clue how to behave in public. Dad leaves for the restroom and all hell ensues. Racing from chair to chair, sneaking up behind me and pulling my hair, anything to keep from sitting and waiting for the food. Dad comes out, sees the mahem and pops them and they sit to eat.
In the FOUR HOUR car ride we listen to "he's staring at me!", "his seat is too far back", "hes' hitting me", until we finally pull over and dad pops em again. I am glad we have arrived. His mother is supposed to be helping watch the kids while J gets fitted for a tux. Im in his sisters house and as soon as he leaves the mahem begins again. Wrestling, picking, arguing....I finally get sick of it and pin the oldest to the floor, only to be attacked by the brother. I take the girl in to get her ready to go and one of the boys breaks the bathroom door in because he cant stand to be locked out and simply must pick. I get fed up and lock both boys in the heat outside. Again, a broken door. I take them for a walk to burn some ambition and secretly hope they get heat stroke. Nothing. They play kick the full pop bottle down the street, spit the left over pop at the little sister. THe only time I intervened was when one of the boys got in the girls face with his fist and attempted to slug her. He got popped in the side of the head. We get back to the house and I ask to have any available alcohol in the house. One beer. Ugh.
We get to the rehearsal dinner and all is well for awhile. I wont get into the personal stuff between J & I because I could write a book on that story, and this one is long enough. J's step dad gets after one of the kids for being disrespectful to me. Finally someone who doesnt find humor in their behavior. We get home and I am informed that I need to go to bed so I can be rested for tomorrow. The kids are asleep and I want to revel in the quiet. The harassment to go to bed is too much so I cave. The morning is worse. When I awake Im always tired for awhile, so I sat on the couch having coffee. The house (J & his mother) have informed me that we need to shower together to conserve water and energy. Im really not comfortable with that idea since there is a house full of people, we are not married, and J gets wood when I change my shirt in front of him. There's no water conservation when you are doing the hokey pokey in the shower. I decline politely. Others insists. I decline very loudly. I am looked at like I have four heads, but stand my ground and J pouts off to the shower.
I spend the afternoons listening to his family complain about EVERYTHING. Negative, complaining, bitching and whining and it drives me nuts. I start to feel more and more manic, the manic where you are feeling more homicidal than anything. They argue about everything from the name of the town to the order in which the bride wanted her pictures. Mind you it was not on their dime, but complain they must, and constantly.
At the wedding we are finally seated outside. Of course I am next to the two boys and within minutes my homicidal urges return. They start throwing rocks into the air. One hits the lady in front of us. Now mind you, I am talking to them quietly trying to get some control. Finally I give in and get Grampa, he threatens their lives and once again, for five minutes they behave. I complain to J afterwards and he dismisses it as boredom. NO SHIT. There are 15 other kids at this wedding sitting still, behaving, I dont want to hear about boredom. Nothing happens.
At the reception things didnt get any better. We ate and when the dancing started his kids disappeared. It was at a ritzy restaurant in the airport. I was secretly hoping they could hop a flight overseas. Of course J kept close tabs on ME. Couldnt smoke, use the bathroom.....nothing without him in full pursuit. Couldnt even get a beer without permission since he had the check card and I was being my public self and refusing to make a scene. We were there about three hours, me not once out of his sight, but when we got ready to leave we had to send out the posse to find his kids. Apparently I need a sitter and they dont.
The next morning I was so happy to be going home I was first in the shower. And locked the door so I could shower alone. Im sick of everyone at this point and quite cranky. Dont even look at me, much less say something smart. Just dont bother me at all.
While we are watching the bride and groom open gifts I get a phone call. A high school friend of mine is going to be in town and we will be home just in time to see her. I havent seen her in six years and we used to take vacations together. I am jacked to say the least. J is pissy. "How nice for me after all the people around this weekend." He's not ruining this hype for me.,,,but of course the kids can. They fire off pop guns in the car, fight with each other, whine that they are hungry, have to pee. We get to the restaurant and a son wants to sit by me. He rattles the shakers, plays with the silverware, grabs something else every time I take something away from him. He starts to kick my chair and I lose it. "Touch my chair again, agitate me again and I WILL backhand you." I am looked at as the evil monster and am ok with that as long as they all shut the hell up. I fall asleep on the ride home hoping to avoid the trip. I miss part of it but have to wake up and tell them to shut the hell up and stop bickering.
We take them home finally and the ex goes into a tizzy. The homework isnt done and the clothes arent clean. Nevermind that we arent HOME to do such things and the free time they had was all with me and thats not my fucking job. She pisses me off anyway. We ask her to pack nice clothes for them for the wedding so she goes to walmart, buys too big of jeans without belts for the boys, and red shirts with stupid sayings on them. Wedding attire. No doubt shes stupid AND a social retard. Do I even need to mention that this stupid woman wiht #6 on the way at 29 years old doesnt believe in spanking? Didnt think so, that was kind of a given.
Im finally free, exhausted but free. I am jacked about seeing my friend. She comes over and we head to dinner. Its a nice restaurant, the same place she wants to go everytime she comes back here. After dinner I ask J to get to the ATM so we can pay for ours and he loudly states "I cant take out what isnt in there!" I have no desire to make a scene so we leave and stiff my friend. She pays for dinner and my emotions were teetering on insanity. She's at my house for just a bit before she has to head out again and we have alot of fun just talking. They leave and everything I have been holding in all weekend starts seeping out. My frustration level is registering on the Richter scale and I start sobbing uncontrollably. Innocently J asks me what is wrong. Nothing I continue to insist because I know once the eruption starts a fight will ensue. Finally I blow at his insistence. $300 for a miserable weekend with his family, but $50 for dinner with an old friend was out of the question. I would have done it myself but my cash card expired two days before so I had no control. Mind you our money goes into his account, but I make just as much as he does. I should have some say, right? He rants about how all I care about is money. I rant that you dont just fucking stiff people at dinner, much less your best bud you havent seen in 6 years.
I left Monday and took my kids to moms. All I could do was cry. I didnt speak to him much and slept with my daughter so he would leave me alone. I couldnt even stand the sound of his voice.
He left this morning and called me. Have I been into the savings account? He was confused about the odd amount......or was he just trying to tell me once again that what is important to me doesnt matter. There was no excuse for his stiffing them. Not with $600 in savings. Fucker.
Im left not wanting to talk to him or see him. Im disgusted that I support all of his family and friend plans, but everytime its not about HIM or HIS its discounted and bitched about....or simply not done.
He's been calling for the past hour as I sit here and bitch about him. Tough shit, he can rot in his motel room and wish he wasnt alone tonight. I have written him a letter. I have given him a stipulation for attending any friend dinners....he will give me $50 before anyone arrives to secure his payment for food. He doesnt pay, hes no longer invited. This is his second offense at stiffing the bill or attempting to and I wont play again. Im also opening a separate account simply for his stupidity and to cover my pride.
I would excuse his behavior as being that of his raising since his family has the very same issues, but that would be like excusing shitty behavior from his kids and I cant get over that, much less his acting like them. If raising is the reason his ass should be taking me out to nice dinners, buying me whatever I want and spoiling my ass because that is my background. Money was never an issue. There has to be some compromise and Im just not seeing it so for now he can simply kiss my ass until I get over it. The cound of his voice would likely still annoy me and Ive been annoyed enough.
It started Thursday night. B\f kept harassing me to get to bed because if I didnt, it would be hard for me to get up Friday morning. Never mind the fact that I have three kids to kick out the door and they are never late. Apparently when he is around, I lose the ability to manage my time.
Friday morning the kids are off and the next harassment phase begins. Hurry here, hurry there, and Im ok with all of it until our last trip back home to get the luggage. The phone rings and its my brother. The evening before things got ugly between my 17 year old and her b\f and it turned somewhat physical. My family was up in arms, everyone was upset and he was calling me to give his brotherly advice. No time for that, my b\f J was on a kick that we HAD to go NOW. He waits impatiently like a two year old, tapping the foot, following me around. The only thing missing was him throwing himself on the floor and screaming.
We go out to pick up his kids and his ex wife has errands for us to run. Ok they are kid errands, but errands that she is responsible for. So we go to the school, fill out paperwork, get the class assignments.....basically things she could have drug her lazy, always pregnant, stay-at-home ass over to the school to do herself. There is no complaining about running late anymore. Then we take them to lunch....another thing she could have handled. Again no complaints....except from me. The kids are 12, 10 and 8 and have no clue how to behave in public. Dad leaves for the restroom and all hell ensues. Racing from chair to chair, sneaking up behind me and pulling my hair, anything to keep from sitting and waiting for the food. Dad comes out, sees the mahem and pops them and they sit to eat.
In the FOUR HOUR car ride we listen to "he's staring at me!", "his seat is too far back", "hes' hitting me", until we finally pull over and dad pops em again. I am glad we have arrived. His mother is supposed to be helping watch the kids while J gets fitted for a tux. Im in his sisters house and as soon as he leaves the mahem begins again. Wrestling, picking, arguing....I finally get sick of it and pin the oldest to the floor, only to be attacked by the brother. I take the girl in to get her ready to go and one of the boys breaks the bathroom door in because he cant stand to be locked out and simply must pick. I get fed up and lock both boys in the heat outside. Again, a broken door. I take them for a walk to burn some ambition and secretly hope they get heat stroke. Nothing. They play kick the full pop bottle down the street, spit the left over pop at the little sister. THe only time I intervened was when one of the boys got in the girls face with his fist and attempted to slug her. He got popped in the side of the head. We get back to the house and I ask to have any available alcohol in the house. One beer. Ugh.
We get to the rehearsal dinner and all is well for awhile. I wont get into the personal stuff between J & I because I could write a book on that story, and this one is long enough. J's step dad gets after one of the kids for being disrespectful to me. Finally someone who doesnt find humor in their behavior. We get home and I am informed that I need to go to bed so I can be rested for tomorrow. The kids are asleep and I want to revel in the quiet. The harassment to go to bed is too much so I cave. The morning is worse. When I awake Im always tired for awhile, so I sat on the couch having coffee. The house (J & his mother) have informed me that we need to shower together to conserve water and energy. Im really not comfortable with that idea since there is a house full of people, we are not married, and J gets wood when I change my shirt in front of him. There's no water conservation when you are doing the hokey pokey in the shower. I decline politely. Others insists. I decline very loudly. I am looked at like I have four heads, but stand my ground and J pouts off to the shower.
I spend the afternoons listening to his family complain about EVERYTHING. Negative, complaining, bitching and whining and it drives me nuts. I start to feel more and more manic, the manic where you are feeling more homicidal than anything. They argue about everything from the name of the town to the order in which the bride wanted her pictures. Mind you it was not on their dime, but complain they must, and constantly.
At the wedding we are finally seated outside. Of course I am next to the two boys and within minutes my homicidal urges return. They start throwing rocks into the air. One hits the lady in front of us. Now mind you, I am talking to them quietly trying to get some control. Finally I give in and get Grampa, he threatens their lives and once again, for five minutes they behave. I complain to J afterwards and he dismisses it as boredom. NO SHIT. There are 15 other kids at this wedding sitting still, behaving, I dont want to hear about boredom. Nothing happens.
At the reception things didnt get any better. We ate and when the dancing started his kids disappeared. It was at a ritzy restaurant in the airport. I was secretly hoping they could hop a flight overseas. Of course J kept close tabs on ME. Couldnt smoke, use the bathroom.....nothing without him in full pursuit. Couldnt even get a beer without permission since he had the check card and I was being my public self and refusing to make a scene. We were there about three hours, me not once out of his sight, but when we got ready to leave we had to send out the posse to find his kids. Apparently I need a sitter and they dont.
The next morning I was so happy to be going home I was first in the shower. And locked the door so I could shower alone. Im sick of everyone at this point and quite cranky. Dont even look at me, much less say something smart. Just dont bother me at all.
While we are watching the bride and groom open gifts I get a phone call. A high school friend of mine is going to be in town and we will be home just in time to see her. I havent seen her in six years and we used to take vacations together. I am jacked to say the least. J is pissy. "How nice for me after all the people around this weekend." He's not ruining this hype for me.,,,but of course the kids can. They fire off pop guns in the car, fight with each other, whine that they are hungry, have to pee. We get to the restaurant and a son wants to sit by me. He rattles the shakers, plays with the silverware, grabs something else every time I take something away from him. He starts to kick my chair and I lose it. "Touch my chair again, agitate me again and I WILL backhand you." I am looked at as the evil monster and am ok with that as long as they all shut the hell up. I fall asleep on the ride home hoping to avoid the trip. I miss part of it but have to wake up and tell them to shut the hell up and stop bickering.
We take them home finally and the ex goes into a tizzy. The homework isnt done and the clothes arent clean. Nevermind that we arent HOME to do such things and the free time they had was all with me and thats not my fucking job. She pisses me off anyway. We ask her to pack nice clothes for them for the wedding so she goes to walmart, buys too big of jeans without belts for the boys, and red shirts with stupid sayings on them. Wedding attire. No doubt shes stupid AND a social retard. Do I even need to mention that this stupid woman wiht #6 on the way at 29 years old doesnt believe in spanking? Didnt think so, that was kind of a given.
Im finally free, exhausted but free. I am jacked about seeing my friend. She comes over and we head to dinner. Its a nice restaurant, the same place she wants to go everytime she comes back here. After dinner I ask J to get to the ATM so we can pay for ours and he loudly states "I cant take out what isnt in there!" I have no desire to make a scene so we leave and stiff my friend. She pays for dinner and my emotions were teetering on insanity. She's at my house for just a bit before she has to head out again and we have alot of fun just talking. They leave and everything I have been holding in all weekend starts seeping out. My frustration level is registering on the Richter scale and I start sobbing uncontrollably. Innocently J asks me what is wrong. Nothing I continue to insist because I know once the eruption starts a fight will ensue. Finally I blow at his insistence. $300 for a miserable weekend with his family, but $50 for dinner with an old friend was out of the question. I would have done it myself but my cash card expired two days before so I had no control. Mind you our money goes into his account, but I make just as much as he does. I should have some say, right? He rants about how all I care about is money. I rant that you dont just fucking stiff people at dinner, much less your best bud you havent seen in 6 years.
I left Monday and took my kids to moms. All I could do was cry. I didnt speak to him much and slept with my daughter so he would leave me alone. I couldnt even stand the sound of his voice.
He left this morning and called me. Have I been into the savings account? He was confused about the odd amount......or was he just trying to tell me once again that what is important to me doesnt matter. There was no excuse for his stiffing them. Not with $600 in savings. Fucker.
Im left not wanting to talk to him or see him. Im disgusted that I support all of his family and friend plans, but everytime its not about HIM or HIS its discounted and bitched about....or simply not done.
He's been calling for the past hour as I sit here and bitch about him. Tough shit, he can rot in his motel room and wish he wasnt alone tonight. I have written him a letter. I have given him a stipulation for attending any friend dinners....he will give me $50 before anyone arrives to secure his payment for food. He doesnt pay, hes no longer invited. This is his second offense at stiffing the bill or attempting to and I wont play again. Im also opening a separate account simply for his stupidity and to cover my pride.
I would excuse his behavior as being that of his raising since his family has the very same issues, but that would be like excusing shitty behavior from his kids and I cant get over that, much less his acting like them. If raising is the reason his ass should be taking me out to nice dinners, buying me whatever I want and spoiling my ass because that is my background. Money was never an issue. There has to be some compromise and Im just not seeing it so for now he can simply kiss my ass until I get over it. The cound of his voice would likely still annoy me and Ive been annoyed enough.
posted by Gigglezngrinz at 8:52 PM
7 Comments:
Just reading this post is enough to make me change my evil ways. The epic saga of the weekend from hell sums it all up well. Family is nice but friends are neutral ground. I'm sorry that you didn't get to spend more time with your friend. There's always next time.
Hug your kids at home and BELT THEM in the car - that was my dad's philosophy and (we) turned out ok. Kids today are too sheltered and need to learn CONSEQUENCES. "Go to your room" isn't a punishment when there's cable, video games, DSL, and DVDs in there. There is a whole generation of kids who are going to be unemployable from never having heard the word "NO!"...
omgosh you poor thing. i don't know how you put up with him or those kids of his. i certainly wouldnt let him have any control over your money. the situation with your friend must have felt horribly, i bet as your friend tho, she understood.
dang, when you said all 4 days sucked that was an understatement! i'd make him PAY bigtime for that!
Like your blog! Seems we're in the same business. Maybe we should start a Moodswinger's club. Or what about Buy-Polar.com?
OMG!!!Not one word of any kind of pleasure. Why are you punishing yourself by staying with him? Life doesn't have to be like that! You deserve someone who cares for you and considers you. Whatever he's giving you, it is not love. It hurts to see anyone in an abusive relationship, and I have real doubt that anything YOU do will change his attitudes. Oh, dear! I will watch with concern to see how you come out of this. Take care of you and your lovely children. There is someone out there who will treat you and yours with consideration and you deserve it.
sounds like it is control issues. He isn't happy unless he is controlling you at every turn. I'm glad you opened your own account. You should keep all money separate unless your married.
Don't let him push you around, it won't get easier...
good God! ole boy sounds like a control freak and a selfish one at that! and those kids...oh hell naw, them lil crumbsnatchers woulda got the Rodney King-Ike Turner beatdown had they been mine!
and then he goes and uses his fuckery on your best friend? oh hell naw...uh uh...see dude would have had to have been shot down in the family jewels for that shit!
and what's this with keeping you under surveillance? um, you ARE a grown woman and his silly ass needs to know that! i'm glad you opened your own account so you dont have to go thru that shit again with your friend.
i think ole boy has some SERIOUS issues and needs to have HIS head (and not the one below--that one would warrant a 1-800-B-O-B-B-I-T-T call) examined!
hon, you need to get the hell away from him and his fuckery. that is a form of emotional abuse and you DO NOT deserve to be treated like that -- NO WOMAN DOES!
please...take care of yourself and your kids, and put some industrial strength longggggggggg distance between you and him. he's got you all upset and flustered and hon, you need some peace of mind. by all means take your sweet time to get yourself together.
here's some huge hugs from me to u
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((gigglez)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
miz e
hey lady! just checking in...you haven't been around.
take care!
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