Todays Rag

So yesterday I went shopping and got the necessary things for mom's computer and fixed it. I ranted about it (on my blog only of course), but knew I would end up doing it. I didnt die, I was just slightly irritated. While there I had to get my meds. When I got to the pharmacy I was not a happy camper. My doctor had not approved a refill and it sent me into a panic. I had already gone one day without them and usually on day two I start having nasty withdrawls. They aren't just slightly nasty, I get tingling sensations in my fingers and hands and sweat like a nasty pig. The worst though is moving my head. My vision behaves like a bad film, the camera moving too quickly to focus in on anything and the dizziness that creates is indescribable. I take Benadryl to stop some of the sensations but that makes my hair feel like bugs are crawling in it and I scratch. Ok, enough.....you get the point, it sucks.

So as she tells me this, I demand to know WHO spoke to my doctor. Of course nobody knows and she politely (with a red face) escorts me to the pharmacist. LOOK AT THE LABEL! It says DO NOT STOP TAKING SUDDENLY! Tears well up in my eyes as I tell him I am going to be very sick tomorrow. He offers to help....I can give you ONE to get you by, but not TWELVE! Whatever, just let me get by and I will bitch out the doctor later. I have been on this shit long enough to not need a doctors call every month. For shits sake its not even a controlled substance, its Paxil! My panic attack lasted about 10 minutes. I started to tell my mother about the withdrawl symptoms when she interrupted me and said "Well, lets go look at the computer stuff now." Grrr, small wonder I don't get excited about this kind of stuff. I quietly walked through the store isles with her fighting back tears (the effects of the panic attack on me).

And on other notes:

My daughter is quite proud that hurricane Katrina bears her name. Of course being ten she doesnt realize the effect it is having on others lives and when you see it on the news it still seems far away and there isnt alot of reality to it. It destroyed my cousins home. Katrina informed me that had I told her my cousin lived there she would have spared that town. Being ten must be fun. I play along because I am all for imagination and would like to prolong life's realities for them as long as possible.

My oldest turns 17 today. Happy Birthday!! I love you! Please hurry and move out!! ...just kidding. For her birthday I painted her room and gave it back to her. She had lost it months before being a teenage jerk. She also got concert tickets, makeup accessories, and various other things. Yesterday she wanted to know when her PARTY was. Egads, I am sick of birthday parties, apparently I am now the birthday scrooge. Being 17 and totally self absorbed must suck.

The daycare provider from my earlier blog was found guilty of manslaughter. Fine, convicted by a jury of your peers, great. I don't think it was in any way necessary to blast the verdit and her emotional response moment-by-moment on television. It was a good 15 minutes of this woman learning of her future. Bullshit. I think if you want to see the trial, the verdit, go sit your ass in the courtroom and stop interrupting my programs to watch such horriffic things. This is not Law and Order. I love that show, but its a show. I have no desire to watch someones life being unfolded in front of a camera moment-to-moment. I felt pity for the woman. I think the only thing she was truly guilty of was being stupid.