Diet

I started a diet Monday, a gift for my birthday. LA weight loss, we will see how it goes. I'm a little worried that the stuff they want me to eat is actually a buttload more food than I normally eat, but they are stuck to their promise that I will lose what I want to lose or they will have to continue to service me.

So far I am down three pounds, ok I know its water and it doesnt really excite me to lose weight until double digits have been reached and my clothing stops stretching to its max.

I see the star magazines, how skinny those chicks are and it amuses me that the only thing they will say about it is either "I lost my baby fat" ( I think that was Lindsay Lohan) or I stopped eating french fries (Hillary Duff). Well how nice and what crap. I cut out regular soda over a year ago hoping it would make some impact and nothing. I have been drinking diet soda and gaining weight like a pregnant heffer. Im learning to tolerate it, but there's just nothing like a soda with a bunch of sugar and carbonation to make me drool.

I did see the doctor at my boss' insistence. Part of our conversation when I was busted for blogging was "Is there something wrong?" She had noticed changes over the summer, no doubt due to my medications, I knew it I just wasnt sure how to handle it. I was also frustrated. Everytime I schedule a day to do something, even a vacation day it seems its inconvenient for someone at work. So I kept putting it off. She told me to make the appointment and we would just work around it at work. Whew. Im having some weird hormonal thing or something going on as well, I guess I will wait for the bloodwork to come back before I get worried about it. I don't really care, I just want to stop feeling so damn tired. My kids are complaining "You are ALWAYS tired." And thats just not the mom I want to be. There are so many things I want to do, my mind stays busy creating projects and my body totally objects to anything but the couch and I hate it. Im not a huge tv fan, I might get a few hours in a week if Im lucky. It drives me nuts to have all this mental ambition and feel so worn out all the time.

Thus the diet. There seems to be a viscious cycle Im finding myself in. Gain a few pounds, get more sluggish, gain a few more because of the sluggishness and get more sluggish and lazy. Ive never been overweight and this is just not my cup of tea. Im hoping for off the weight, off the couch. Im not sure its that simple. Ive gained 16 pounds since December at my last doctor visit, and he wants to get to the bottom of it. Yippee, someone who finds my new body as ghastly strange as I do.