Shorty after she started working, her boss asked her to clean the restrooms. With her mothers grace she politely declined and offered to quit instead. They teased her, telling her she was too good to clean toilets, in which she stated they simply couldnt pay her enough and she would rather quit. I saw her point, I have trouble using public restrooms and avoid them at all costs. Could I clean them? Hell no. I would have done the same thing. She brought home a "reprimand" from her supervisor. It "jokingly" stated that she was the only white person on the job and therefore thought too highly of herself to clean the restrooms. It stated that since the rest of the crew was mexican, that she apparently thought that the fucking wetbacks would wipe her ass as well as kiss it. (YEA, it really said this) It was filled with foul language and was signed by her immediate supervisor, who passed it off as a joke. I told her to save it, I didnt think it was funny and was obvious harassment.
Shortly after that the sexual comments started. It wasnt just co-workers, but her immediate supervisor that participated. He made several comments about her "nice ass" and other employees made regular comments about her in sexually explicit ways. Mind you that her supervisor is in his 30's, married with two children. That simply means to me that he really ought to know better. Sexual harassment laws are no big secret anymore, and people have been sued for much, much less. It wasnt until this week that she finally had enough to tell me everything that was happening.
One of her co-workers approached her and asked her if she would be willing to have sex with him. She said no. He then asked her if he could pay her for sex. She was very offended but played it off as a joke. She told me about it through tears, how much she has hated this job for that reason, but needs the money to buy herself a car. She told her supervisor about the comment and he asked her if she wanted to have him written up. She said not right now. He told her he would take care of the problem. Why would she have any faith in him to do anything? He sets the stage for this type of behavior. He supervises teenagers, yet participates and encourages sexual innuendo himself. Frequently he makes comments as customers leave that "She was hot, Id really like to f**k her" My daughter has no reason to think that he is serious about stopping the behavior when he is a participant.
There have also been several instances where male employees have slapped her on the butt or rubbed up against her backside in his presence and nothing has been said, in fact, that too is passed of as a joke. She works on a crew that may have one other female, but most frequently she is alone with the males. Go figure, other female employess dont last that long.
So here I sit today, frustrated as hell that the attorneys I have contacted have not responded. I have tolerated alot of the same shit at most of my jobs, mostly because I have no idea how to feed my children and pay my bills if I get fired or quit. The one time I walked out on this type of abuse, I was out of a job for several months. With a one income household, thats a problem.
I took her car shopping last night. We test drove a few and I have decided that if I am able, I will buy her the car. She bought her first one and it took a shit...so now it's up to me to help her. I believe that they should earn the priveledges in life....work for it. But the work this time doesnt necessarily have to be monetary. She has been convinced (as i was too) that 18 is tha magic age. No longer can anyone tell you what to do, or make choices for you. She had plans to move out with her boyfriend and my fear is that she will then drop out and destroy her education. Maybe a high school diploma doesnt mean much anymore, but to me is signifies
Shortly after that the sexual comments started. It wasnt just co-workers, but her immediate supervisor that participated. He made several comments about her "nice ass" and other employees made regular comments about her in sexually explicit ways. Mind you that her supervisor is in his 30's, married with two children. That simply means to me that he really ought to know better. Sexual harassment laws are no big secret anymore, and people have been sued for much, much less. It wasnt until this week that she finally had enough to tell me everything that was happening.
One of her co-workers approached her and asked her if she would be willing to have sex with him. She said no. He then asked her if he could pay her for sex. She was very offended but played it off as a joke. She told me about it through tears, how much she has hated this job for that reason, but needs the money to buy herself a car. She told her supervisor about the comment and he asked her if she wanted to have him written up. She said not right now. He told her he would take care of the problem. Why would she have any faith in him to do anything? He sets the stage for this type of behavior. He supervises teenagers, yet participates and encourages sexual innuendo himself. Frequently he makes comments as customers leave that "She was hot, Id really like to f**k her" My daughter has no reason to think that he is serious about stopping the behavior when he is a participant.
There have also been several instances where male employees have slapped her on the butt or rubbed up against her backside in his presence and nothing has been said, in fact, that too is passed of as a joke. She works on a crew that may have one other female, but most frequently she is alone with the males. Go figure, other female employess dont last that long.
So here I sit today, frustrated as hell that the attorneys I have contacted have not responded. I have tolerated alot of the same shit at most of my jobs, mostly because I have no idea how to feed my children and pay my bills if I get fired or quit. The one time I walked out on this type of abuse, I was out of a job for several months. With a one income household, thats a problem.
I took her car shopping last night. We test drove a few and I have decided that if I am able, I will buy her the car. She bought her first one and it took a shit...so now it's up to me to help her. I believe that they should earn the priveledges in life....work for it. But the work this time doesnt necessarily have to be monetary. She has been convinced (as i was too) that 18 is tha magic age. No longer can anyone tell you what to do, or make choices for you. She had plans to move out with her boyfriend and my fear is that she will then drop out and destroy her education. Maybe a high school diploma doesnt mean much anymore, but to me is signifies
posted by Gigglezngrinz at 3:45 PM
10 Comments:
You're a good mom.
That is so disgusting, I hope to God that you get a lawyer to help her. They know she needs the money and that she is young and naive. As horrible as it is to endure, she will learn from it and not tolerate it ever again.
Echoing #1.
I can't believe this type of thing still happens in this day & age. I'm glad that you're teaching her nothing is worth her dignity. I'd also use the moment to remind her that with an education she can pick better jobs. Otherwise, she may feel stuck in a job she shouldn't have to tolerate. (of course, I'm not referring to the present situation) But that may give you something that will relate the importance of a high school diploma.
Thank goodness she's got you for a mom.
It is disgusting. BUT, she has to fight her own battles. She is a big girl now. All you can do is educate her... she needs to do the rest on her own. SHE she call the lawyer, SHE should be looking for a car with you, not you going out doing it for her.
I know you want your daughter to be a strong woman - show her how.
Gawd, where the hell did all that come from?
ummm, never mind about the car thingy. I read your post too fast the first time. For shame.
MACE - Just in case...
By not speaking up sooner, she has set the stage for acceptable behavior. It is only going to get worse, I'm afraid.
No woman should have to put up with that...
You sound like a very caring mom.
I was just passing by and thought I'd say hello.
Nice blog you have here. :)
THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!!
after i read your post, i felt my hackles rising. not hating on men, but my God, some of them need to have the living shit slapped out of them, i swear.
GG, it's obvious you love your daughter and want the best for her and it's wonderful that you are going to bat for her and hopefully put that muthafucka behind bars or run out of town or whatever lol.
i can certainly relate to the difficulties of having a one-income household. when i was working, i barely made ends meet, but all of the weight fell on me, and though i'm on disability, the weight still falls on me.
as mothers, we want to protect our kids, and you are doing what any mother who loves her child would do. when my youngest was almost raped in my building, i was there with her; when we had to go to court and the muthafucka got a slap on the wrist and 100 hours community service, i was there with her. eventually the fool got evicted from this building last year in July.
so you do what you have to do GG. stand by your daughter thru this. and encourage her to stay in school. that's one part that breaks my heart as far as my youngest goes...i didnt push for her to remain in school; however she is working on her GED.
dont let her destroy her life; she has her whole life ahead of her and no matter what our kids say or do, in the long run, it's always Mama that they come back to.
Be Blessed!
How totally unforgivable! You should email the labour board seeing you have proof of harrassment (reprimand papers) and I'm sure other females who have worked there would attest to it. Get her to get the name and numbers of those who have quit or still work there who are willing to back her story. DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY WITH IT!
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