Ramblings About Me
1. I like to spend money. Doesn't matter if the stuff is actually necessary, or if I even HAVE the money. It isnt usually even for me so I guess the correct way to say that is I like to spend money on my kids.
2. My deepest desire is to have a family. Since the only thing I can really base that on is the marriage that I had with my ex, I have a tendency to base all relationships on that experience.
3. I'm a slob. I have carpet clothing in my room the majority of the time. It's one extreme to the other. The house is either really clean, or it looks like a tornado just swept through.
4. I hate to make coffee. Stupid, but true. It annoys me to no end to have to make it, even though I need it to start my day.
5. I hate socks. I should live where I can wear sandals year round.
6. I hate bugs. All bugs except rolly-poly's. Anthing else is a freakish threat to me.
7. I dislike dogs, even though I have one. They shit in the yard and ruin the lawn. And slober.
8. I love plants. I kill them, but love to plant them.
9. I have a crappy attitude about men. You just cant trust them. They either just want sex or they are too irritating and clingy to want to be around all the time.
10. I thought I was in love once. Turns out it was just an anxiety attack.
11. I love my boyfriend, even though there are qualities about him that make me want to beat him.
12. I hate to argue and will go to any lengths to avoid one. Unless I am in a mood to pick one.
13. I love to be around funny, sarcastic people. Chronically depressed people drain me and so does constant negativity.
14. I was a daddy's girl. I miss him daily.
15. I avoid emotion.
16. I assume people can read my mind and therefore understand what is going on with my illness. (Bi-polar)
17. There are times sleeping is my only sanity. I have vivd dreams that often I prefer to reality.
18. Cleaning gets me riled up and pissy.
19. Christian pop music soothes me.
20. I refuse to clean the toilet under any circumstances.
21. I bite my nails when I'm nervous or drinking. (Those two things go hand in hand for me)
22. I cant drive worth a crap. I have wrecked numerous vehicles and make everyone riding with me nervous. I cant always concentrate on where I am going while my thoughts are trailing off to never never land. I used to drive to soothe my anxiety.
23. I want to win the lotto and get a plastic surgery makeover.
24. I want to write a book.
25. There are times that the very presence of other people completely annoys me.
26. I have had several panic attacks, some so severe I have blacked out and gotten lost while driving.
27. I moved 2,000 miles for an intenet romance and wound up in the ghettos with my kids and no money.
28. I have an ever supporting boyfriend that is learning to tolerate my stupidities. Sometimes I am convinced that it is his mission in life to drive me insane though.
29. In the deepest darkest moments of my life Jesus Christ was the only thing holding me together and keeping me sane.
30. I had a year long manic phase during my marriage where I drown myself in alcohol and damn near landed myself in prison.
31. I have attempted suicide twice.
32. I suffered severe post-partum depression.
33. I heard voices.......once. Most frightening experience of my life.
34. I dont "cut", but I am a picker. I often wonder if they arent correlated.
35. Sometimes I love to be cuddled and others I cant stand to be touched.
36. There are moments I wish the rest of the world would disappear and leave me alone.
37. There are times I wish I had a large circle of friends to hang out and share life with.
38. I was molested as a child and the molester kept a diary. I was later accused by my mother of being "in on it." I was between 7 and 9.
39. At 12 I was raped by a 28 year old man who had offered me a ride home from the fair.
40. My first crush (and brothers best friend) was killed in a car accident giving me my first experience with death.
41. My brother was killed 2 years later in the same way.
42. My dad died 2 years ago from a brain tumor. He was my connection to the rest of my family.
43. I have a fake blog somewhere else in case people who know me want to read it.
44. I'm cynical and have a tendency to believe strongly that nobody will look out for my genuine interests.
2. My deepest desire is to have a family. Since the only thing I can really base that on is the marriage that I had with my ex, I have a tendency to base all relationships on that experience.
3. I'm a slob. I have carpet clothing in my room the majority of the time. It's one extreme to the other. The house is either really clean, or it looks like a tornado just swept through.
4. I hate to make coffee. Stupid, but true. It annoys me to no end to have to make it, even though I need it to start my day.
5. I hate socks. I should live where I can wear sandals year round.
6. I hate bugs. All bugs except rolly-poly's. Anthing else is a freakish threat to me.
7. I dislike dogs, even though I have one. They shit in the yard and ruin the lawn. And slober.
8. I love plants. I kill them, but love to plant them.
9. I have a crappy attitude about men. You just cant trust them. They either just want sex or they are too irritating and clingy to want to be around all the time.
10. I thought I was in love once. Turns out it was just an anxiety attack.
11. I love my boyfriend, even though there are qualities about him that make me want to beat him.
12. I hate to argue and will go to any lengths to avoid one. Unless I am in a mood to pick one.
13. I love to be around funny, sarcastic people. Chronically depressed people drain me and so does constant negativity.
14. I was a daddy's girl. I miss him daily.
15. I avoid emotion.
16. I assume people can read my mind and therefore understand what is going on with my illness. (Bi-polar)
17. There are times sleeping is my only sanity. I have vivd dreams that often I prefer to reality.
18. Cleaning gets me riled up and pissy.
19. Christian pop music soothes me.
20. I refuse to clean the toilet under any circumstances.
21. I bite my nails when I'm nervous or drinking. (Those two things go hand in hand for me)
22. I cant drive worth a crap. I have wrecked numerous vehicles and make everyone riding with me nervous. I cant always concentrate on where I am going while my thoughts are trailing off to never never land. I used to drive to soothe my anxiety.
23. I want to win the lotto and get a plastic surgery makeover.
24. I want to write a book.
25. There are times that the very presence of other people completely annoys me.
26. I have had several panic attacks, some so severe I have blacked out and gotten lost while driving.
27. I moved 2,000 miles for an intenet romance and wound up in the ghettos with my kids and no money.
28. I have an ever supporting boyfriend that is learning to tolerate my stupidities. Sometimes I am convinced that it is his mission in life to drive me insane though.
29. In the deepest darkest moments of my life Jesus Christ was the only thing holding me together and keeping me sane.
30. I had a year long manic phase during my marriage where I drown myself in alcohol and damn near landed myself in prison.
31. I have attempted suicide twice.
32. I suffered severe post-partum depression.
33. I heard voices.......once. Most frightening experience of my life.
34. I dont "cut", but I am a picker. I often wonder if they arent correlated.
35. Sometimes I love to be cuddled and others I cant stand to be touched.
36. There are moments I wish the rest of the world would disappear and leave me alone.
37. There are times I wish I had a large circle of friends to hang out and share life with.
38. I was molested as a child and the molester kept a diary. I was later accused by my mother of being "in on it." I was between 7 and 9.
39. At 12 I was raped by a 28 year old man who had offered me a ride home from the fair.
40. My first crush (and brothers best friend) was killed in a car accident giving me my first experience with death.
41. My brother was killed 2 years later in the same way.
42. My dad died 2 years ago from a brain tumor. He was my connection to the rest of my family.
43. I have a fake blog somewhere else in case people who know me want to read it.
44. I'm cynical and have a tendency to believe strongly that nobody will look out for my genuine interests.
posted by Gigglezngrinz at 3:30 PM
2 Comments:
Thanks for your comment on my blog. You're welcome to add a link. Great to find you - take care and keep writing,
B
Never seen someone's life laid out as a list before,made me smile in parts then not smile in others..
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