Freebies

I hate junk mail. Usually I just delete it without reading it and laugh at the $10,000 a month job offers and free this or that. I'm not that gullible, nothing is ever free and you won't get paid that much to stuff envelopes, make toys or earn money while you sleep. (Unless you are Bill Gates or somethin')

Today I saw the FREE SHOE add. Being a shoe collector of sorts I couldnt resist the urge to click on the button. $100 free gift certificate from Payless. Wahooo!! With school starting (IF I decided to share my loot with the children) every little bit counts.

So I click and I click. Click some more. One more click. Fill in personal information. Five more clicks. Fill in more information. Ten more clicks. By this time I am getting slightly agitated that I have gotten suckered into this. These bastards just want me to give up so they don't have to give me my prize. Fuck them. It's now a personal vendetta. I will click all day if I have to to get those shoes. Click, click. Geeze, another survey and 15 minutes more of this shit. Now I'm pissed. I want my shoes!!!! click, click

Ah man, now they want me to fill out credit applications??? If I had alot of money, a decent credit score, would I really be trying so desperately for your stupid $100 promise of free shoes??? So I trick them, I skip over the surveys and continue my clicking. They seem oblivious ......so I keep going.

Several more clicks later I am waiting for a big download. This page is taking AGES to download. This must be it!!! I have won! I made it to the finish line........let's go get some shoes!!!!!!

THE PAGE CANNOT BE DISPLAYED???? WHAT? Of course it can, we just have to click back and try again. NOTHING! I repeat this process several times until I realize I have been tricked by the very asswipes I am always avoiding.

Even though I know that by unsubscribing it will only generate more crap, I HAVE to email these schmucks. They could have gotten me fired for shits sake. 30 minutes out of the work day to fill out a fake survey. Bastards.

They want to know WHY I am unsubscribing......... are you kidding?

TRICKERY..........YOU SUCK.

I had to get it off my chest. I had to tell them. I had to unsubscribe to the shit they send me. I hate them!

Now that I have calmed down from this grave disappointment, I know that I was actually tricked multiple times. I was clicked into clicking on the free shoe sign, clicked into giving my email address, clicked into opting out which means ultimately my email address is now on their "she's a bitch" list and they will give it away to everyone on the planet and I will get more free shoe offers, more work at home and earn a million dollars a day offers, more offers to enlarge my penis (wtf???)........DAMN IT ANYWAY!

Everyone is a sucker at some point. Nobody gets to be mad at me for this stupidity because I only hurt myself.

Unlike this scenario:

Sweetie and I sign up to win a car at the mall. Months passed and we forgot all about it. Finally, we get a phone call! WE HAVE WON A PRIZE! Who doesn't love free stuff!!! Hell yes, schedule an appointment and get over here with my freebies!!!!

As soon as he got out of his car and started up my driveway I knew. I asked him point blank if he sold vacuum cleaners and.... I wasn't all that nice about it. I hate them. I will not give my right arm or firstborn to have a machine that you claim cleans things out of my air that I cant see. How the hell do I know that? I know it hums, I know it requires more than I want to spend for a filter for the damn thing. NO! Get out! Leave my prize and get out!

I glance over to my sweetie and am frozen in utter amazement as he reaches for the paperwork for our new $2,800 VACUUM CLEANER. schmuck.