Ride to Poverty

Last night I dug deep in my pockets and took the kids and their friends to the state fair. This morning I am very tired, broke and left wondering a few things about people.

1)Do fat people need bigger mirrors? Do they have any idea what they have on display? Why would you paint on a pair of jeans, borrow a shirt from someone half your size, add a flashy belt to this ensemble and walk around with the leftovers hanging out? Cover it up! Nobody wants to see the rolls hanging over your jeans, squishing out of your jeans, or peeking out of any other clothing item. What self respecting person can look in the mirror, admire their layers of spare tires and still leave the house to enter public thinking "Damn, I look good." I remember being a teenager and wondering the same thing about the 300 pound women in tube tobs and spandex. We all assumed spandex was all they could squeeze into and we dealt with it. Nothing has changed I guess except the styles.....and the large growing number of growing people. Not to mention the public display of ass cracks, that used to be reserved only for plumbers.

2) Where do they find turkeys with 3 pound legs?? People wander around with gigantic everything on a stick, but I think the most shocking, not to mention nasty looking was the enormous turkey leg on a stick. Save that size of a meal for a holiday and you just might fit into those pants you wedged yourself into. Nobody needs an $8, pound of spun sugar........let's not pretend all the kids are sharing because they are on the rides while your fat ass is standing there with the loot.

3) How do fat women get gorgeous men? What the hell is up with that. Get your skinny geek, you are ruining the stereotype.

4) Where are the parents? Girls who only another female can tell are under 13. .....wash that shit off your face, get some less slutty clothing and look your age. I even saw a boy who was about 10 who had double piercings in his bottom lip. That one really made me want to meet the parents.

5) How can public restrooms be so absoultely disgusting? Women are nasty. Period. I spent an hour seeking out the least putrid restroom to use. You know, the one without mystery liquid on the foor, without wet toilet paper strewn around where it might get stuck to my shoe, without feminine hygiene products lying around the foor or the toilet paper holders, without toilets that werent flushed or the seats peeed all over. I know people dont have restrooms like that at home, wtf? Why would you muddle through the remains of an overflown toilet to wash your hands? Dont touch anything and get the hell outta there is my motto. Dont give me a dirty look for not washing my hands when you are standing in pee.

6) 8 ounces of soda for $4?

7) Can't you at least give me the brief impression that I am getting something for free? $7 gate admission? You can rob me of the rest of my paycheck after I'm in the gate.

I'm sure I could list a dozen more, but I didnt get home until after 1 and the coffee has a lot of catching up to do.




How can you NOT know the goods have fallen out?