Humiliation
Last week I mentioned taking a day off work, but honestly there was more to the story than just that. I had to humiliate myself to accomplish this feat.
Monday night I was exhausted, but for weeks had been caught up in the throws of mania. Along with that wonderful imbalance comes frightening insomnia. I age drastically with the lack of sleep. I break out with rashes on my arms, get deep circles under my eyes that closely resemble the moons craters.......basically I resemble the creatures from the thriller video and feel every bit as bad as I look.
In an effort to "reset" my internal sleep monitor I took an Ambien. After about an hour I realized sleepishly that the last time I took this lovely aid, I didnt wake up for about 20 hours. I HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW!!! Knowing full well I would be brain dead and unable to hear my alarm in the morning I decided to do the responsible thing and call in sick for the next day.
I called and left a voice mail for my boss. But what if she didnt come in to work? Nobody would know. I decided to leave a message with a co-worker as well. Bases covered, I went to bed.
I slept, as expected, for my 20 hours. Feeling refreshed I made a few calls to the doctor about my nauseating meds. I am accomlishing alot, even sick to my stomach and awaiting death. I did however spend half of the day wondering exactly what I had said to my boss, at times even wondering if I had even called in! Oh sheesh. I was pretty sure I had called, but what did I SAY???
On friday I am having a discussion with my coworker about work-itis. I occasionally suffer from this disorder as well. I can feel fine, go to work, swear on the heavens I am dying from something, but at 5 oclock I am starting to feel amazingly better. Work-itis. "Come over here, i want to show you something," he tells me. I go over to his work area and he hands me the phone. He has saved my message from Monday night.
I listen in horror as I slur my words, pause and sigh, obviously "not all there" and seemingly DRUNK. Anyone listening to my 5 minute display would testify under oath that I was severly intoxicated. I was horrified to say the least. I have left a message on the boss' machine as well!!!! I can only imagine what that one blubbers!!!!!
That week I had a few strange stares, a few odd glances, and a general feeling that something wasn't sitting right! I had a sneaky hunch it was something I had said, but wasnt about to take an office poll. let's just pretend THAT nightmare didn't happen.
My gut tells me to EXPLAIN things to everyone. God knows I dont want people to think I called in sick because I was drowning in an alcholol related frenzy. My instincts tell me to shut up and ride it out, simply because any explaining I might feel compelled to spew would only make me look more guilty!
Ahh, a humiliating catch 22.
I tossed the Ambien. No more sleep aids for me, period.
Monday night I was exhausted, but for weeks had been caught up in the throws of mania. Along with that wonderful imbalance comes frightening insomnia. I age drastically with the lack of sleep. I break out with rashes on my arms, get deep circles under my eyes that closely resemble the moons craters.......basically I resemble the creatures from the thriller video and feel every bit as bad as I look.
In an effort to "reset" my internal sleep monitor I took an Ambien. After about an hour I realized sleepishly that the last time I took this lovely aid, I didnt wake up for about 20 hours. I HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW!!! Knowing full well I would be brain dead and unable to hear my alarm in the morning I decided to do the responsible thing and call in sick for the next day.
I called and left a voice mail for my boss. But what if she didnt come in to work? Nobody would know. I decided to leave a message with a co-worker as well. Bases covered, I went to bed.
I slept, as expected, for my 20 hours. Feeling refreshed I made a few calls to the doctor about my nauseating meds. I am accomlishing alot, even sick to my stomach and awaiting death. I did however spend half of the day wondering exactly what I had said to my boss, at times even wondering if I had even called in! Oh sheesh. I was pretty sure I had called, but what did I SAY???
On friday I am having a discussion with my coworker about work-itis. I occasionally suffer from this disorder as well. I can feel fine, go to work, swear on the heavens I am dying from something, but at 5 oclock I am starting to feel amazingly better. Work-itis. "Come over here, i want to show you something," he tells me. I go over to his work area and he hands me the phone. He has saved my message from Monday night.
I listen in horror as I slur my words, pause and sigh, obviously "not all there" and seemingly DRUNK. Anyone listening to my 5 minute display would testify under oath that I was severly intoxicated. I was horrified to say the least. I have left a message on the boss' machine as well!!!! I can only imagine what that one blubbers!!!!!
That week I had a few strange stares, a few odd glances, and a general feeling that something wasn't sitting right! I had a sneaky hunch it was something I had said, but wasnt about to take an office poll. let's just pretend THAT nightmare didn't happen.
My gut tells me to EXPLAIN things to everyone. God knows I dont want people to think I called in sick because I was drowning in an alcholol related frenzy. My instincts tell me to shut up and ride it out, simply because any explaining I might feel compelled to spew would only make me look more guilty!
Ahh, a humiliating catch 22.
I tossed the Ambien. No more sleep aids for me, period.
posted by Gigglezngrinz at 9:42 AM
2 Comments:
Ambien made me look stoned 24/7...imagine having to take it every night! When I was in high school, I never slept...this was before they figured out that Ambien is addictive & I was told to take 1 & 1/2 pills per night. Good Lord. It did help some with the insomnia tho :)
wow, that's rough - about the voice mail message.
I get that way certain mornings when I've taken too many sleeping aids just to get to sleep. In the morning, the last thing I know I am capable of doing is calling my boss to let him know I am sick. I usually send an email. That works quite well for me!
"Sir, I'm sick, can't come in, see you tomorrow".
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